Protect Your Peace by Creating Healthy Boundaries
Setting boundaries in your life is a necessary self-care strategy that can really benefit your mental health. Everyone needs their own set of carefully curated boundaries that are part of their everyday lifestyle. Now, don’t get me wrong, setting boundaries is generally not an easy thing to do. But, it’s freakin’ non-negotiable in order to protect your energy and your peace.
Knowing when your boundaries are being crossed, the different types of boundaries, and how to set healthy ones, will help you maintain mental and emotional clarity, so you can continue living happily and healthily.
How to know when your boundaries are being crossed
There are many instances and reasons to set boundaries. There may be signs you don’t even realize that are indications for when it’s time to set some boundaries with someone.
Some signs are:
You feel physically or emotionally drained
You dread going somewhere or being around a certain person
You have a hard time saying no
You feel forced to do something you don’t want to do
Something or someone doesn’t bring positivity into your current lifestyle anymore
Types of boundaries
There are many different types of boundaries, and it’s important to be able to differentiate between them. Below is a list of areas you may find yourself needing to draw boundaries in:
Physical - Your personal space and when, how, and who is touching you
Emotional - Your personal feelings and comfortability
Intellectual - Your personal thoughts, opinions, and beliefs
Verbal - The way in which someone speaks to you
Sexual - How you are treated in sexual situations
Time - How you decide to use time
Material - Your feelings toward and decisions regarding physical items
It’s important to understand which areas in your life are being violated in order to create effective boundaries.
How to set and keep healthy boundaries
It’s important to take time to reflect and evaluate what areas in your life need boundaries. It may only be one area, or it could be multiple. Either way, take note of anything that’s feeling icky and pay attention to the way lines are being crossed.
If you’re new to setting boundaries for yourself, it may feel a little awkward at first. But with a little practice, boundaries will become your new best friend :) There are many different ways to set boundaries, and it’s totally up to you on how you proceed. Depending on the person or situation, some options will be more effective than others, but you may just have to feel it out.
Communicate:
Communication is one of the most important ways to set your boundaries. Although some things may seem like common sense to us, it may not be common sense to another person. A lot of the time, explaining your side and feelings will put things in perspective and help the other person understand where you’re coming from. They may not have even known they were crossing a line (although, this is not always the case).
Say No:
Saying no goes along with communicating. Make it clear, firm, and unapologetic. But, of course, this is much easier said than done. It definitely takes some practice to get used to saying no to someone - but it’s SO important for your own peace.
Distance Yourself:
Choosing to take yourself out of these situations completely is also creating a boundary. Choosing to decline, disengage, or not participate means being in control of whether your boundaries are crossed or not. You can even simply set a time limit for yourself when going into social settings. It’s important to have agency and make your own decision about who you give your energy to and how much.
These are just a few ways you can set boundaries, but it’s really a case-by-case scenario and what you do is completely up to you! It’s extremely important to remember that you shouldn’t have to wait until someone crosses a line to set boundaries. You have a right to have as many boundaries and limits as you want at any given time. Remember, nothing is ever worth sacrificing your own peace and mental health.
